The Perfectionist’s Dilemma
I am extremely clumsy. As in, I trip over my own feet, drop things, and run into doors several times a day. So, when my roommate offered to teach me how to longboard at the beginning of the first coronavirus quarantine, I was hesitant.
The thing is, I am both incredibly clumsy and deeply afraid of looking stupid. This fear, undoubtedly rooted in perfectionism and society increasingly focused on sharing all aspects of life online, has stopped me from trying new things in the past.
The first day we went out, I got a minor concussion when I fell in the middle of an empty parking lot. The second time, a slight case of whiplash. Since then, I have managed to injure myself pretty consistently.
I would like to say that I kept going because I am driven or motivated. However, I have to attribute my continued attempts and injury to my long instilled perfectionism — the very perfectionism that almost prevented me from trying this out in the first place. At first, I wanted to quit. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I was not naturally good at this. But herein I encountered the perfectionist's dilemma, quitting would save me embarrassment but it would also mean never getting better.
My main takeaway from falling over and over again? It is better to be bad at something than to do nothing at all.
Nothing compares to landing a new trick for the first time or effortlessly gliding down a hill that used to intimidate me. Although I still struggle with perfectionism and fear daily, I know that it is worth facing.
